Today I’m continuing baby C’s first birthday series by sharing a note I wrote to him for the occasion. I poured all of my first-time mom emotions onto paper the night before he officially turned 1, after the last time I laid my baby boy down to sleep when his age could still only be counted in months. To reflect back on your first year of motherhood is surreal—all of the moments from Day 1 to Day 365 suddenly seem fleeting, and you can’t help but long for the days of basking in the awe and wonderment of your newborn baby. But you quickly remember that you have amazing adventures ahead and many, many more firsts to experience with your little one, and that brief sadness turns into excitement once again. Motherhood is nothing short of a beautiful journey.
Nothing can come close to matching the intensity of emotions I felt the moment I saw you for the first time and held you. You were breathtakingly beautiful and still are. In that moment, you showed me exactly what I am living for. You filled my heart and revived my soul. You gave me the privilege of being a mom. One year ago your life was just beginning, and in a different kind of way, mine was too.
It’s your birthday. Your first one! A year has flown by and it’s a bittersweet feeling—I’m a little sad that you’ve grown so much from the fragile baby I brought into this world, but at the same time I’m so happy to watch you grow and discover every part of it.
From the long nights I rocked you in my arms and nursed you to sleep, to the first time you looked at me and smiled, to your first laugh that was the most joyous sound I’ve ever heard, to every milestone you’ve reached. The sweet music to my ears when you babble on and on about Mama Mama Mama. Being your mother takes my breath away. You are my saving grace—the best part of me, the best decision I ever made, the best thing I ever did.
I know one day you’ll be grown, but to me, you’ll always be my baby boy. Your first year of life has been the best year of mine. I love the way you adoringly look up at me and touch my cheek. I love your wide-open-mouth kisses that you plant on my lips over and over again. I love that the sound of my voice when I sing to you soothes you. I love to touch your soft baby skin and brush your hair with my fingers while you sleep. I love to whisper I love you when you’re nestled in my arms. And I do; I love you more than I could ever put into words. I hope you feel it.
Happy birthday, my precious baby. I love you to the ends of the Earth. More than all the stars in the sky, more than yesterday and less than tomorrow, more than you will ever know.